Exhale
Anette Aarsland is ALL things breathing. We talked about the physical, emotional and mental benefits of understanding our breath. This is medicine we can all get on board with.
Who are you?
That’s some question! I thought I was a singer and that I would only be a singer. That was the only thing I really wanted to do. I had moved to London to be with an ex-boyfriend. I woke up one morning and he was smiling and said, “I didn’t sleep all night because I was thinking of us.” And I thought – this is it. He’s going to propose. Instead, he said (still smiling), “You have to leave immediately.”
That’s when my life changed dramatically. I was devastated. I cried, sang, cried, sang every single day. For months. I was completely rock-bottom at that point. That’s when I came across (voice teacher) Dinah Harris, who, with her brother, had come up with breathing techniques that allowed singers to get their voice back. That was the very first time I’d heard about breathing. I thought – wow. I’ve been studying singing for eight years and I haven’t learned the first thing about breathing.
That woke me up. It took me some time before I realized, though. I then went back to Milan, to my teacher there and learned some other breathing techniques. I found that, not only did my voice come back, but it came back stronger. For the very first time in my life, I felt grounded. I had always felt slightly anxious, with the top out of my body. I was always told ‘you have to get grounded, you have to get grounded!’. Yeah – but how do I do that?
Now I felt grounded. I’d also found that the pain that I’d had in my back (due to scoliosis), became much better. After six years in London, I moved back to Norway. All of a sudden singing wasn’t so important. I mean – it is important. In some ways, I miss it.
However, I had started a job in a psychiatric hospital in Oslo. I worked there for eight years. I didn’t only see how the patients took their breath when they had problems, but I also noticed the way my colleagues were breathing in stressed situations – very superficially. Which, of course made them nervous.
I had a patient – 27 year old young woman – who was cutting herself. She was so full of pain. I took her down to a basement room where nobody could hear us and asked her to scream. To scream and let all of the shit out. She screamed and we walked. Walked and walked. It made me cry. That scream was so full of pain – it was devastating.
Every single day I was working, I took her down to the same room, I made her scream and just breathe. We were walking in circles, screaming and breathing quite slowly. After two weeks, she sang ‘O Mio Babbino Caro’ (having never sung before in her life!) But that wasn’t the main thing. The main thing was that she didn’t cut herself one time, for months. Her psychiatrist told me, “Anette, you have to look into this.”
I left the hospital after eight years. I had been attacked quite badly and I forgot everything about breathing. I was insisting on going back to the same patient (even though my doctor told me not to). My shoulders were up, I started breathing superficially. My wife told me that it was horrible to live with me that year. I forgot everything about breathing because I was in such deep pain.
A friend of mine (an actress here in Norway), shouted at me – “Anette, it’s fucking enough! You’ve lost yourself! I don’t recognize my friend. You’ve become somebody else. You have to quit that job, immediately!” I thought – my god what am I going to do? I don’t sing anymore. I can’t go back to the the psychiatric hospital. What am I going to do? She said, “Anette – you’re going to work with breathing. That’s what you know.” “Nobody works with breathing, alone.”, I said. “That’s exactly why you should do it.”, she answered. That was such a big ‘ah-ha’ moment for me – maybe it’s possible to just work with breathing techniques.
The very next day, I quit my job. I put a notice in the local paper about starting a ‘breathing choir’. “I want to get in touch with people who would like to find their true voice, through correct breathing. You might think you can’t sing, have the worst voice in the world. I’m going to show you that, through correct breathing, we can all sing.”
We live in quite a small place. The day after this appeared in the newspaper, 80 people had signed up for my breathing choir. One year afterwards, the Breathing Choir was on the Norwegian national television. They were singing a really simple, one-line song, but it was such an achievement.
I saw in these women (it was an all-woman choir) a confidence and energy level rise, within those two hours (first hour we just breathe, the second hour, we sing). Now, we are even singing in six parts, which is amazing! They never thought that they could achieve such a thing.
I started this ten years ago and it’s what I really, really love to do – empower women. Not so much to sing, but to use their voice. To dare to give speeches. To dare to hold their position in society, at the same level as men do.
That was a long answer to “who are you”!
How important is it to put breathing into practice, during this pandemic?
That’s such an important question.
There are so many ‘mouth breathers’. We get rid of 42% more moisture, breathing through the mouth than breathing through the nose. If we have symptoms, or are infected, we will spread so many more droplets, breathing through the mouth. That’s the first thing.
The other thing is – we have hair in the nose. When we breathe in through the nose, the air is naturally filtered. When we breath out, we get rid of ‘bad’ particles more quickly. When we breathe through the mouth, the same particles/viruses, get down all the way to your lungs and they can cause injury. And you get much more of them if you breathe through your mouth. The amount of air you take in through your mouth is much, much more than if you breathe through your nose. Another thing – cold air gets heated up to body temperature through your nose before it reaches your lungs, which the lungs like!
With the SARS virus (2003-4), they found that nitric oxide helped treat the virus. In 2005, it was discovered that we produce (in small amounts) the same nitric oxide in our nasal cavity. If we inhale and exhale through the nose, we will get much more of the nitric oxide into our body – possibly! Research is going on in the States
That’s a scientific answer. What about the emotional benefit at this time?
I don’t know if many agree with me, but I’m convinced that, if you’re very scared, in an extreme state of ‘fight or flight’, and exhale through your mouth – with resistance – will reduce anxiety. The “ssssssss” that singers do…
I was coming home on a flight from north Norway, where I’d just given a workshop. The woman who sat beside me was very anxious. I suggested the “sssssss”. “Just say ‘sssssss’? Yes, just that. In the end, she called the flight attendant to say “this really, really works!” Breathing is the only function in the body that is both automatic and that you can command.
There has been some research on breathing and emotion, where different groups were told to ‘create’ an emotion – angry, scared, happy etc. Their breathing pattern was noted and found to be the same. Things were then reversed – the different groups were asked to breath in the same patterns found in the first research without telling them why they should do so. What they found was that the different breathing patters created the exact same emotions that were found in the first experiment. I find that amazing.
How many years have you been practicing?
I’ve had my company for ten years, but I’ve been practicing the techniques for at least 25.
And now, in this pandemic period, who is coming to you to work on their breath?
When I first started ten years ago, people were saying, “Breathing? Everybody breathes!”. I had loads of resistance. I’ve been working very hard at this. My first victory was with a group of carpenters! And doctors. when I started, if someone told me that medical doctors would come to see me I would have said – HA!
Today, it’s people with all kinds of issues: anxiety, panic attacks, pain issues. Bad digestion, hypertension. Also people who have low self-esteem. Or have to give speeches – using their voice in their job. All kinds of people. Normally, I run courses in Italy, three times a year (bringing Norwegians over). One year I had four lawyers, another year – three hairdressers! It’s really all ages, all kinds of people.
How many singers do you get?
Not many! I’ve had a few – young singers. I’m not trying to pull them towards me, to be honest with you. It’s not my favourite client. I don’t like giving singing lessons but I’ve had a few who have come to work on their breathing. The sense of being grounded is so important for your emotions to get out for your singing voice. In order to be true to ourselves, we need to be in touch with our emotions and then we need to be grounded in order to be that.
Many times, I feel that the work I do is just as much about getting the emotions released. So many emotions get stuck – in the breath or in the diaphragm or solar plexus area. We tend to tense up in the chest, shoulder blades, neck.
How does one deal with ‘fight or flight’?
It’s a way that the body is telling us to survive. I had an accident on my cross-country skis, where I got stuck and flew and landed on my pole. In my chest. I was convinced I’d broken a bone. I was hyperventilating for at least ten minutes, shaking. I think it’s a good thing. It helps to not feel the pain so much in that moment. The trembling gets the shock out of the body – what animals do. Grown up humans don’t. We tense up the muscles and get stuck. So that’s why I think, sometimes, it’s good to be in ‘fight or flight’.
The problem is when we are constantly in “fight or flight” without there being a real threat. We might have issues with our bosses or spouses, financial problems, anxiety etc. This is when stress becomes dangerous and, the reason WHO has claimed stress as the biggest health threat in this century.
When in “fight or flight” the body gets ready to deal with threats from the outside, all the energy goes to the arms and legs in order for us to escape or fight. The problem is that there is no energy left to deal with our immune system. In order to get the energy back to our immune system we need to breathe slower and deeper.
We can`t fight dangers both from the outside and the inside at the same time. But, as I said, when there is a real danger - a rapist or a dangerous animal - “fight or flight” is a really important part of the nervous system.
What about cultural differences with breathing and emotion?
Norwegians (and maybe British, too?!) have loads of tension in the jaw. We don’t let emotions out. (I’m not a typical Norwegian!) When I moved to Italy, I finally felt at home. People talk much louder, they move their mouths much more, they talk on their breath… Norwegians even talk on an inhalation! I don’t think it’s just the olive oil and warmth that make the Italians have less heart disease! They really use their breath while talking. They let their emotions out. They’re really angry, really in love.
Norwegians are too concerned about the neighbours and what they might think. Don’t laugh too loud or, worse – never be angry. We have the ‘Janteloven’ – Law of Jante – where you shouldn’t think you’re better than anyone else. Something really in the Norwegian population.
I haven’t had much cultural difference when I do my courses. There are big differences within the groups – people worried about taking up space. I think that comes from childhood. Boys don’t cry. Girls are supposed to be seen and not heard. Phrases like that get stuck in your body. I have women in their 60s who sob, loudly, when they realize that they have a voice.
When it comes to breathing, some people are shocked at the emotional impact it has when you get connected to your breath and then all the prior experiences in your life. I’ve never experienced anyone being re-traumatized. The emotion goes out – and then you’re free.
What has the ‘magic of the pandemic’ brought to you?
All my travels, all my trips to Italy were cancelled. All my courses, all my breathing choirs. I couldn’t work at all. In the beginning I thought – what am I going to do? I realized that I’m a very positive person. I’m very solution-orientated. So, I thought – what can I do now in order to go further. I’ve taken courses on how to make online courses and I launched an online course in Norwegian, I made a webinar and I’ve sold loads of courses. My income is now the same as it was before Covid.
Another thing – before this, I was convinced that I was a very extrovert person. I realized that I’m so introverted! Up here in the cabin in the mountains, we don’t see anyone at all and I love it! I feel so calm. The only thing I miss is not being able to see my parents. That’s hard. But we can talk.
But, I feel it’s the future. There’s so much less pollution, all the flights we don’t take. But I think it’s a lesson from – whatever you may call it – the universe. We need to calm down in all senses. Back to the breathing, we really, really need to get back in touch with ourselves, to dare to be alone, to not always be trying to find solutions or distractions from outside. Try to find them inside ourselves. It sounds horrible, but I’m going to miss this, once society opens up.
Will you be able to take some of the calm with you as things move forward? Some kind of hybrid version?
My goal now is to go abroad. I want to make my online courses in English, in order to help more people. I also see people online, once a month. The extroverts miss getting together, a lot. They are so looking forward to the breathing choir starting up again.
What would you do if you couldn’t do this?
I haven’t got a clue. I feel that I have the best job in the world. It’s so diverse. I have so many different clients. I wouldn’t go back to working in a psychiatric hospital. I couldn’t do it. I’m done doing that. I wouldn’t – or couldn’t – go back to singing. I haven’t practiced singing for a very long time.
I haven’t got an idea, really. I love talking to people. It would have to be some sort of communication. Definitely. I’m grateful that I haven’t had to think about this question. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to get through this pandemic without losing my job entirely.
What advice could you give regarding grief, this pandemic and breathing?
It’s so, so important to cry. In grief, it’s so important to get those tears out. To get the emotion out. To accept that you are in grief. If we deny it, we just push it further and further back. And then, it will come back with double force, later on in life. I’m sure of it.
I experienced a stillbirth. I screamed, I cried. I remember the doctor saying, “I’m so proud of you, because you’re sharing, you’re telling people.” I cried for so long. I made a conscious decision – my biggest desire was to have friends giving birth and for me to experience real joy. From inside. I didn’t want to become bitter. I was going to work every day with myself, until I could feel that joy from the inside. It’s easier said than done, though, but I`ll never forget the day, 6 months afterwards when I could feel happy for a friend giving birth to a healthy child without feeling bitter.
I’ve learned so much through all of my experiences. But, I would never tell a person going through grief that this is going to teach you something. I just think it’s very important to get your emotions out. And to work at not becoming bitter. It’s a job, and in retrospect, you might be able to see that this was one of life`s important lessons.
Who are you?
I’m still the same person as I was when we started this conversation! We are normally asked ‘what do you do?’ We forget who we are.
